05-25-2022 “I have nothing to offer you, but my heart.” Awwwwe!


Ouch! Left ear, high pitch, right now! What the heck yall???

” I H E A R U T A L K I N G ! “

DM decided to use the other MAYBE section as an exclamation mark.

“Bueno? Quien habla? Ah-lo? Quien es?”

That is not what he heard. Chris heard you tell him that if he showed up at your door with nothing to offer you, but his heart, you would still run to Vegas and marry him the moment he asked.

” T R U C K H I T S U V W H N I W A S H I “

“P A R A N D R O O M A T E K I C K D M E O U T”

“Que dices?? Por favor, espede un momento para hablar con su amor, su corazon, en Ingles.”

“Hey! That explains the RM 457. Poor thing is staying at a local motel, isn’t he?” YES

“Well fuck, if he would just unblock a bitch and text her a simple ‘WYD?’ already, we could be cuddled up on my bed giggling about all this shit.” ” A L R I G H T I G E T I T “

Trip the fuck out.

I know, huh? Thanks for finally understanding your signs from your angels as well. Finally remembered who you are, did you? I knew you’d come around.

We both did. On time and on schedule, I might add.

Word, babe. I have a question for you.

“What’s your pop’s name?” “P O P S H W A B T Y O U R S ? “

“Dad. Sometimes I call him ‘dude’. The rest of the world calls him Bob. My aunt Leti and Tia Loca call him Robert. So did Grandma Elena when she was alive.”

“I keep hearing ‘want our kids to ride dirt bikes’.”

” I K E E P H E A R N G K N E E P D S N H E L M E T S ! “

We are making good use of the new exclamation mark we created on the pendulum board an hour ago.

“Wait, what? Ring? What about a ring? For engagement, you mean?” YES

Totally unnecessary, babe. We will be engaged all of, how many days before getting to Vegas?” 1 5

What is the engagement ring for anyway? To show others I am no longer available for sex or other relationships? There is no point to that because, I can assure you, an engagement ring does not guarantee the panties or pants remain on when the beloved fiance is not around. No matter how many paychecks it cost the poor guy. Truly, engagement rings were created simply to make more money off the poor couple and begin a true honorable commitment by determining the strength of their love by the amount spent on the ring. Ri-fucking-diculous.

No engagement ring for me, thanks. After that, I have always dug matching silver bands. Engrave them, while we are at it. Like, for yours, I would have it engraved: That cock is MINE or Eternal Safe Word – Flux Capacitor.

“Did Chris really hack my laptop last night?” YES

Late last night, in the middle of questions I was asking about a case, this comes right out:

“H A C K E D U R L A P T O P”

“Wait, when? Just now?” YES

“Does he now have access to my camera?” YES

That is unbelievably hot.

Adonnis texted me apologizing for standing me up last night for weed and shots. The poor dear is working sixteen-hour shifts as a CNA at the local old folks home for patients with Dementia. He says he feels defeated. I let him know he was in no way standing me up and expressed my love for him. He suggested a wake and bake this morning.

We just need to wait until The Wraith Talia leaves the house for work. Talia 86’d me over a year ago after I called her a bitch and ripped her one for how badly she sometimes treats Ado.

Well, looks like he is coming over here:

Woo hoo! We get to see Adonnis!

Back in a bit!

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