DM: Tell me all the things you love about me. ME: I haven’t done that yet? DM: NO!


You do not realize it, but you have been upset with the wrong entity this entire time.

Who is upset?

Don’t you dare start with me, Christina. You know damn well what I am talking about.

Oh, alright. I admit it. But, in my defense, I just discovered this tonight.

I have heard this song three times in the last twenty-four hours.

Yes, I think you are spooky. Can we get back to what we were thinking about?

I like what you did, there. ‘Thinking’ instead of talking.

Get started already.

Your impatience on this particular thing is adorable.

I am waiting.

All The Things I Love About You Gathered From The Small Amount Of Time We Have Spent Together

Get rid of all the words after the ‘You’.

All The Things I Love About You

Perfect. Continue.

Should we number these?

It is not necessary.

You sure I haven’t mentioned all the cool shit I dig about you already?


And off we go!

Number 1. I love how your ass looks in a pair of jeans.

Good. Keep going. And thank you, love.

Number 2. I love how distracted you would get on the pool table when I was watching you play.

Number 3. I love the double-take you gave me the first time I walked into the bar all dolled up, with my hair down and curled.

A little make-up, too. You looked so beautiful.

Number 4. I love how you deliberately used your butt to move me out of the way when showing me pool moves that one night at the saloon.

Yes, I did.

Number 5. I love how jealous you got when you found out I was at your brother’s apartment that night trying to install the KODI app on his Amazon Firestick.

Number 6. I love that you never charged me to play pool when all I wanted to do was practice to get better.

Number 7. I love how you look in that black sweater.

Number 8. I love how you break up a freshly racked table.

Number 9. I love that you are dependable.

Number 10. I love that there are people who know they can put their trust in you. (IE: Kenny)

Number 11. I love the face you make when you are trying to bull-shit me.

Number 12. I love that I can tell when you are lying.

Number 13. I love that you know I know when you are lying.

Number 14. I love that I know that you would be able to tell if I was lying to you.

Number 15. I love that cute dimple in your chin.

Number 16. I love your perfect haircut.

Number 17. I love that you care about others without needing to know who they are.

Number 18. I love that you did not kiss me that night on your couch when The Crazy Gold Digger came home early. (Dude, can you imagine how much trouble that could have caused? LOL)

Number 19. I love that you tried to impress me.

Number 20. I love that you trusted me at the bar when I did my little side jobs in exchange for the free pool.

Number 21. I love that you offered me a job at Kensington without so much as an interview.

Number 22. I love that you told your brother you thought I was smart. (He told me you said it. “My brother thinks you’re really smart.”)

Number 23. I love that I have never seen you disrespect another human being.

Number 24. I love that we both have the same ultimate goals at this point in our lives. (Love and family)

Number 25. I love that you are a Chevy man, not a Ford man.

Number 26. I love that I was reprimanded when I showed up late the first day of that two-day catering thing at Kensington. This tells me you want me to stay on top of things and be responsible.

Number 27. I love that you had the balls to tell me I talk too much.

Number 28. I love the faces you make when you are concentrating.

I don’t make faces when I am concentrating.

Oh, yes you do. I make a few of the same faces. They are adorable.

Number 29. I love that you think I was not able to pick up on the fact you were attracted to me.

Number 30. I love how comfortable I feel when I am with you. Like home.

Number 31. I love that I can be myself around you.

Number 32. I love the generosity I have seen you show others.

Number 33. I love that you use so many exclamation marks when texting.

Number 34. I love that you were kind enough to have my pool cue fixed for me for free after the tip broke off the end of it.

Number 35. I love every single part of your body I have been able to see with my eyes. That includes the quick glimpse of your tummy that day in the bar when Kenny was showing us those green shirts.

Which shirts?

They were green and if I remember correctly, said something like, “I’m going to try science! Hold my beer!”

Oh, yeah.

Number 36. I love how fast you walk to avoid talking to me.

Number 37. I love that you let me play with your Grandfather’s cue for a few shots that night.

Number 38. I love that I cannot beat you at pool.

I bet you can now.

Nope, no more betting. But yeah, I maybe could by now. I get lucky lots and lots.

Number 39. I love your name. I love saying your name. Though, with text to speech, it comes out as ‘Karen.’

Number 40. I love each and every one of those messages you sent me on

Number 41. I love that you spied on me with that app on your phone that lets you keep an eye on the bar.

Number 42. I love that you are a chef. I have always said I was going to marry a chef.

Number 43. I love that your body language was so easy to read.

Number 44. I love the way you giggled when

I do not giggle.

You did that day, babe. I was cleaning up the bathroom and went, “Ooh! A quarter!” And as I bent down to snag it, you were walking by, heard me and giggled.

Oh, now I remember. I did giggle. It was cute.

Number 45. I love that you told me how well I did helping at the catering event. You even said, “Wesley would be so proud of you.” Little did you know what was really happening at home with The Dildo Wesley.

Number 46. I love that you have an Iphone and I use an Android.

Number 47. I love that you are a righty and I am a lefty.

Number 48. I love that I always felt safe when I was around you.

Number 49. I love that I have not once ever heard you speak bad of someone. Err no, wait. I seem to recall a Facebook comment of yours long ago that went something like, “Ted Cruz is a piece of shit!” Now, I don’t know who Ted Cruz is, but whatever he did to piss you off, I am sure he will get his in the end, babe. Don’t you fret.

Snickerdoodle. I just heard ‘snickerdoodle.’.

Number 50. I love how much you enjoyed arguing with me about smoking pot outside the saloon that day.

Number 51. I love how much you tried to hide number 50.


“Is this song my cue to end the post or something?” YES


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