12-19-2021 You want a series of these videos???

***DM THOUGHTS IN BLUE***

First, let me tell you why I think this is a great idea.

Are you sure you don’t want me to begin by telling you all the reasons I do not think this is a good idea?

Yes, I am sure. Just listen, Christina. Oh and don’t do what you sometimes do.

What’s that?

Begin thinking of everything you want to say and do not even listen to what I am trying to put across.

Do I do that?

Yes.

Rats. I’ll have to work on that.

Let’s do this. I’m all ears. Err, thoughts…well shit, you know what I mean.

I’m listening.

I am gathering my thoughts.

I know. I hear you in there.

You keep combating everything I want you to type in your head already.

Such as?

I keep hearing, “All these videos are like a series already.” Yes, I know this, but I meant more of a once-a-week thing where you specifically smoke a joint and/or drink a beer while recording on a specific topic.

We do that now!

I smoke a doob, turn on the computer and camera. I sit there and talk to you so that Kieran can get an idea of what goes on in my head with his 5D self. If he does watch those videos, how he has not checked himself into a looney bin yet is beyond me.

You don’t know that he hasn’t.

WORD. I hope not. Been there done that a few times myself when we thought the medium stuff was Bi-Polar stuff. It is not fun.

But, how is this different than what we are doing now? That is all I want to know.

And don’t say

Editing.

Crap. I knew it.

Christina, what’s the big deal about editing what you have already?

Babe, because these videos are not for anyone else but you. I am not making them for the world to see. Sometimes, I specifically make them boring as hell for the first five minutes so anyone else who does not know us will click right off. Why would I want to spend all that time editing videos specifically for a one viewer audience?

Oh, wait. I know what it is.

You want me to practice my editing skills by doing this. You could have just told me that.

I’ve been asking you to try editing for the last two months!

You have, haven’t you?

Yes, I have.

Drat. I have no way out of this one.

We both know what it is.

Don’t you dare say it.

You are afraid of being successful.

**insert the absolutely shocked emoji here**

Wait, forget the emoji. I found a picture that appropriately expresses my sentiment.

I am not!

Yes, you are.

Am not.

You are.

Not.

Are.

You gave it one try and when you did not pick it up as fast as you picked up pool, you gave up. Why do you give up on everything that does not come to you naturally?

I…I got nothing.

Thank you for being so brutally honest.

You are welcome. This is not going to be the first time, either.

That’s hot. It wasn’t until Derek and I broke up and became the best of friends that he was able to stand up to me. Call me out on my bullshit.

Well, I am calling you out on yours. Every time I hear it, feel it, smell it…any time. I am going to let you know just how full of shit you are at any given moment if your mouth wants to get as big as it gets from time to time.

I am so turned on right now.

Sigh. Of course, you are.

When are you going to head to the bar to upload today’s video?

Probably in about half an hour. I need to change and pack up the laptop.

Change into what? What is wrong with what you are wearing?

I am in my slippers, babe.

Well, other than your shoes, what else do you need to change?

Change my pants, t-shirt, you know…change. Why do you need to know? No, I am not trying to look flashy for anyone.

I wasn’t thinking that.

Yes, you were. I felt it. Don’t you know I know what you are thinking?

I told ya, babe. There has been no desire for sex for me in the last two months. I have no clue where it went. But, it is gone. Remember, the pickings out here are slim. Now that I am happier by myself than with some ordinary Joe with ego, it means I require less physical stimulation than I used to.

Other than my vibrator Bessie and Xhamster.com, I am celibate. I have read more than once that celibacy is common, not long before twin flame pairs reunite. Is Kieran getting laid out there?

He was. Not any more.

See? It isn’t just me, then.

We are both going through the same types of shit. I guarantee it.

***THE CAPITOL BAR 5:56PM MTN***

I need to go grab my jacket from the car. It is cold in here.

Vanilla soy latte on the way.

Why are you even here today?

I am not sure. I am cold, don’t feel like drinking or playing pool…

Then go home.

I think I will. I’m gonna blow this popsicle stand.

Until tomorrow’s post.

I love you.

I know. I love you, too.

2 thoughts on “12-19-2021 You want a series of these videos???

Add yours

    1. I had the same problem. First, I had to realize it was not success I was afraid of, but what came with it. (Commitment to a schedule, changes in my daily routine, etc.) Change is scary for most. I had fear I could not do it because I never did it before. After I found out about all this and that fear is merely an illusion, it was easier to change my thought process. “I am not afraid of changing my routine. I just do it,” is what I tell myself. It works.

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