08-27-2021 Wanna know what thoughts I heard during my twin’s Dark Night Of The Soul? It was kinda funny.

***DM THOUGHTS IN BOLD TYPE***

****THE CAPITOL BAR 5:50PM MTN****

I have no idea why you think this is so funny.

Babe, they gotta know. It was cute. At least, I thought it was cute.

No, it wasn’t. I was mad. Angry. Frustrated. Sad. Why is that funny?

Because, of the way I heard it in my head.

Jesus.

Who’s he?

?!?!

Just kidding.

That was not funny, Christina.

Oh come on, Mister Serious. You want me to tell the story or not?

Not.

The dreaded Dark Night of the Soul. Ever heard of it? I had no idea what it was until all this in the last few years. To be completely honest, I have not done a whole lot of research on the subject. I can get through a few snippets of a tiny handful of websites on Twin Flames and Dark Night of the Soul before my mind drifts on to, “Oh look..Oreo caught another lizard.”

Here is what I found on my very first Google search just a few moments ago:

I was going to refer them to another great website, but after just having gone there to read what they had to say on D.N.O.T.S, I realized I could not do that to my readers. You cannot go more than three short paragraphs without getting hit with an ad. Seriously, look:

Ri-fucking-diculous. I see three ads in that one screen shot alone. Shame on you, Spiritual Unite Dot Com.

(Quit doing that! I feel you staring at me from the back of the bar. My body is beginning to vibrate.)

You are high.

It was half a bowl of premium MaryJane that Wayne left me the other night he came over. A Bud Light, shot of Jager and that half a bowl is not going to make my entire body feel the way it does at this current moment. There go my toes. The left.. Err wait….now that I think about it..that tingle could be because my toes were scrunched up and I started to cut off my circulation.

Now my hooha is beginning to either tingle because of something else or because it is starting to fall asleep. My friend Allie says our ‘hoohas’ can fall asleep. Isn’t that some shit? Does Kieran’s dick ever fall asleep?

Which reminds me. Babe, I had a crazy dream about Kieran last night.

Weren’t you going to tell them something else?

Oh yeah. Wait a second. Hang on.

***SCROLLS UP THE PAGE***

Dark Night Of The Soul!

That’s my girl.

I am. I have it on repeat.

****CAPITOL BAR 7:07PM MTN****

Do you know what you did wrong with that last shot?

Do you?

A little less power on the cue ball. You missed because the cue hit the object ball out of the way. But, you did leave yourself a couple of ways to work on your rail shots.

Oh fine.

Knock the four ball in softly enough to leave yourself the seven ball down to the corner pocket.

What have I always told you?

I dunno. Something about leaving.

No, LEAVE. And you are being immature.

One of us has to be. This whole balance thing. You are the mature part of the Ying Yang and and I am clearly the immature part of the Ying Yang.

Practice your-

I don’t want to.

Why are you so afraid of bank shots?

I’m not afraid. They just suck.

Not when you know how to do them. Why do you continue to fight me on this?

Free will gets in the way. I’ll hear, “Practice your bank shots,” in my head and my mouth will say out loud, “No. Bank shots blow.”

You are going to have to learn bank shots if you ever want to be on my team.

I did not just hear that.

Oh, yes you did.

You turd.

Fine. Let me get some chocolate first. And another Bud Light. I walked, babe. I am not driving after the DWI thingy a couple weeks ago.

Three. I have three readings booked for tomorrow.

Haha. Is Kieran pretty fly for a white guy?

Are you drunk?

Not quite. Almost. But, that was not the question.

So, that cute college couple that was here the other night is here again. I can tell she is controlling. He is a sweetheart. (Narcissist and Empath.)

You think you know everything.

You keep thinking that.

I don’t think.

I feel.

You should see how she looks at other women as he speaks to them in a kind way. He has no idea what he is in for with her. But hey…I could be wrong. I never bank on me being right. Don’t I always tell my seekers I could be wrong? My seekers are the ones who tell me I am right or ‘spot on’. I won’t do readings for certain people because I know it could lead to things they do not want to hear. My cousin Frank, for instance. He wanted a $5 Tarot Shot and I gave him more than that. He never responded. I don’t blame him. The things I told him, while true feelings, I am sure where hard to hear.

****THE CAPITOL BAR 11:03PM MTN****

My game is off.

Because, you have had a few shots and a few beers.

Indeed.

I was going to jet. But then, Brandon got here just now. He is hot. He is color blind. He likes women who he feels are a bit dumber than he is.

Sound familiar?

What are you saying?

Not a damn thing. I want to go home. There are three readings on my schedule for tomorrow and-

You want to go because you are playing like shit?

No. Tommy is being a jerk and only wants to play singles. Beating one person at a time feeds his ego.

Plus…something feels off. I don’t know what it is. I’m gonna jet.

Change your mind about posting the D.N.O.T.S thoughts, did you?

Yep. There are some other thoughts taking over right now. I need to figure out what is going on.

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