***DM THOUGHTS IN BOLD***
Go ahead and say it.
You know what.
I was not going to say one word about the fact you only stopped blogging for, what, one week?
Wise ass. The coffee shop is back open, the Capitol Bar is open…why not go back to what I was doing?
(Song playing: ‘Pneuma’ by Tool)
I am not saying that is a bad idea. In fact, it is a great idea. I am just giving you shit about how long you thought you were going to be able to stay away from blogging.
You think you are so smart, don’t you?
I say that to you all the time.
Aren’t we One, the two of us now?
Oh, are you finally getting it? I was sure you said something about getting all this “We are one” stuff months ago…
Well, shit. Perhaps I should tattoo it to my forehead.
You will never see it if you tattoo it there. Your arm. The left.
No, no, no…That is the arm I am saving for the rest of my Calvin & Hobbes sleeve. Which reminds me…I gotta show you the one I want next:
(Song playing: ‘Bleeding Love’ by Leona Lewis)
Seriously? It’s on the bicep.
Well, now that I think about it…
I thought you wanted a comic strip sleeve on that arm?
Yep, I do. This one block is way big, though…now that I really look at it. I don’t think I want one that big.
That’s what she said.
Oh my gosh. You are such a dude. But, that was a good one.
It’s about time. I am tired of being all girly.
You tired of peeing sitting down, are ya?
That was not funny the first 100 times you said that and it is not funny now. I do not pee sitting down, Christina.
Oh, come now. That was damn funny the first 100 times I’ve mentioned it and it is damn funny now.
I know what you mean, though. I am getting a little fed up with feeling all DUDE these last three years. Looking at boobs or a butt first, winking at both guys and girls if I am flirting…I never winked before. Never. That must be a ‘Kieran’ thing.
(Song playing: ‘I Belong To You’ by Lenny Kravitz)
So, you are tired of peeing standing up, I gather? LOL
YES! How you fuckers do it is beyond me. I actually tried that, by the way. In 3rd grade.
You did not.
Swear to God. The boys bathroom after school. Pinecrest in Simi Valley.
Seriously, babe. I remember not understanding why your potties were different than ours. All white and standing straight up instead of a pot, like we had. Something told me I had to try it.
(Song playing: ‘Hey, Good Lookin”by Hank Williams)
Because, I like that song.
How did you know what I was going to say? Never mind. I just answered my own question. Err, you did.
I would have never added this song to the playlist. I still have no idea how a 24 year old like Adonnis knows some of this old music. Old soul. I meant to ask Spirit of the amount of past lives he has had and I keep forgetting. Okay. I just heard “132“. Wow. Does it really just happen like that? Do I even need the board?
I don’t know. Do you?
(Song playing: ‘Stop and Stare’ by One Republic)
There is someone behind me. Now. At the coffee shop. I cannot see them. But, damn it, something is there. The lights above me flickered for a second, too. I am sure I look like a doof every time I turn around to check. There is a group of these gorgeous guys here at the coffee shop sitting five feet away from me.
You look like a doof all of the time, Christina.
This is true, babe, but this is dif- SEE! There! I just got heart palpitations. It’s you, dork. Why do I feel like you are sneaking up on me? Like…lurking.
Am I lurking?
Yes. You know, you always did that. At the Saloon. All the time. You would be around the bar, or in Kenny’s office doing your GM thing, right? I would be there working on some pool shot you told me to practice over and over and over and over. You would walk by either pretending to be on the phone or you would walk by slowly.
I had to keep an eye on you.
You mean keep an eye on me or my pool game?
I don’t know why my pool game. It is not like you gave me any sort of criticism. Ever. You were coaching me, kind of unofficially, sure, but I need to know what I am doing wrong so I can correct it. Yet, what do I hear in my head every time I play pool now that we are physically separated? “You are not low enough. Get down lower,” and, “Why are you going so fast??”, “You’re still not low enough.” As of last night the new one I heard, what, twenty times, was: “Three strokes, Christina. I want three strokes before you take your shot.”
And did you not make all the shots you took those three strokes with first?
(Sigh.) Yeah….I did.
I rest my case.
The Cap is open now.
You know I am. But, not until I finish this post. Michael Gonzales just walked in. I told him I will be at the Cap in a little bit to play. He is a great player. He beat me twice and then I beat him twice. Jacob was on fire last night until he hit beer #6. No, I will not drink. Why are you so that about that?
Do I really need to explain why?
Nope. Messaged received. We’re good.
So, we’re clear?
Whoa….did I just hear, “Are we-“
Are we CLEAR?
Oh, okay. No drinking.
I’m serious. You play much better when you are not drinking.
I said, ‘Okay.’
Not even a beer? It’s 5 o’clock somewhere, you know. Here, I’ll show you:
In fact, it’s after 5! I’m late!
That was not funny.
How about just a Bud Light with a lemon wedge?
Then just a shot. Of Jager. What do we say? 😉
If I said ‘no beer’, why would a shot of Jager be a better option for you to suggest?
****STAYED TUNED FOR MY NEXT POST***
Fine. I’ll describe my first astral sex with the 5D you. (I could have been arrested, you butt.)
***FYI, every experience posted has actually happened. These are all true experiences.***